i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
