By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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