My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
