She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
