take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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