Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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