dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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