So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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