I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize