Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
