i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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