singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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