i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
