is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
operation have a gay friend backfired
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
