I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
