Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
