One girl and one boy is just not enough.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
