is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
