I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize