i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
