hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
