we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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