I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
