He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
