I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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