I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
