Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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