Yo dont text me then not text me
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Randomize
