didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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