...so i touched it.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize