You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
