I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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