I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
