Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
