I want to make a zoo with you.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
