I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
