I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
