im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
