I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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