so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
