Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
they're like a gay fantastic four
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
