I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
vagina is talking i cant
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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