Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
