i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
