how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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