that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
