so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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