People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
