Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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