So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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