I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
