I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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