So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it's not cheating when I paid for it
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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