If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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