That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
