And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
