I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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