so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
