Are we in a gay sports bar?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize