This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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